i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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