thus making me awesome and them whores
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
