Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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