Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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