i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
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Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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