If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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