dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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