This is not my ceiling
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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