so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
