cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
They are going to name an STD after you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
