Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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