I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
