Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
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She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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