I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
