I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
