Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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