She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
