i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
