Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
