seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
