Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
