hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
