I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
FUCK WHALES
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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