My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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