You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
too bad you live with your parents still
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
