yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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