I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
