Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
