So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
