I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
