i think my tv is drunk
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
