some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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