why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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