THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
