I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize