Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
