can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
