Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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