I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
