I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
