Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
