three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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