The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think i got beer on your cat.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
