And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.