And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
