After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
