The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
