i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
