that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
