So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
