I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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