tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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