I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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