the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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