what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
