Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
