He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
