Where did you get a picture of my penis
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize