I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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