Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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