I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will be naked everywhere
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
