My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So much Jack, so little girl.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
