And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize